Shunning was my tipping point. I never shunned except for an arrogant COBE's son who called me to let me know there would be an announcement, but he would be back in a year. Turns out he embezzled funds from his JW boss's business AND the KH collection box. I was fine with shunning him, because he essentially gave the go ahead and should have gone to jail. He was back in a year.
My daughter walked away when she was 17. Stopped going to meetings cold and "respectfully declined" a shepherding call. My son acted out when his JW wife left him and was subsequently DF'd. My son and daughter both committed the same "sins".
I was told that I could still have a relationship with my daughter, because she hadn't been DF'd and hadn't been disciplined by Jehovah. She would have to straighten things out when she returned. I guess YHWH didn't love her enough.
Another elder said I could still visit my son, because of concerns for his mental health. He told me, "just don't talk about it with the friends". This same elder and his wife maintained an amicable relationship with their DF'd daughter. I told him I wasn't about to be a hypocrite. The teaching was that I should have no contact with my son, and that wasn't to going to happen.
I couldn't wrap my brain around this level of crazy. I told him I wasn't about to go to meetings and pretend I was shunning my son when I wasn't. Now I'm here.